Member-only story
Postcards from France: Black Diamonds
Celebrating the End of Truffle Season with a Back Alley Deal
The call came while we were touring the ancient Greco-Roman city of Glanum on the outskirts of Saint-Rémy-de-Provence. ‘Come quick if you want the last truffle of the season. Bring cash.’ Click; the line went dead.
My heart began to race as I stuck my phone back into my pocket. My GPS said it would take over an hour to get to the secret spot despite mister X having promised it wouldn’t. Time was of the essence, not one single minute could be spared.
My son Beau has defaulted to the French style of starting every conversation by exclaiming ‘Non’, regardless of the situation. ‘Hey Beau, would you like to check out some really cool Roman ruins’?
‘Non!’
‘Hey Beau, let’s go get some Toblerone ice cream.’
‘Non!’
Although in the last case, the ‘non’ was only a prelude to a future ‘oui’ with conditions. I knew that when I interrupted the filming of his French documentary for his 6th-grade class to get a lone black truffle he would protest vehemently and concessions would have to be made.
The funny thing is that he never wanted to go to the ruins in the first place. When I had suggested it earlier you would have thought I said ‘hey, let’s take all your toys and melt them in the microwave.’ Thankfully it started to rain and his braying was short-lived and lacked luster.
Moments later we were careening down the D99 through tiny backcountry towns in the Luberon racing the clock. What makes driving in France so special is what would be classified as a two-lane road in France is hardly considered a one-lane road in America.
Every Galoise smoking truck driver feels it is his divine birthright to have right of way, turning driving on narrow roads into some twisted version of chicken. Walter, who was sitting in the passenger seat, looked a bit whiter than normal. On a few close scrapes, I noticed he would suck in his stomach as if that would help make us fit between a stone wall and the truck zooming straight for us.
Another irony of the French road systems is that they have installed radar cameras everywhere but they have…
